Chenders!

by **Sunny Side Up** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:37 am

Where are you?  We miss you!<IMG src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0">

by **chenders01** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:42 am

Awww, Sunny <IMG src="smileys/smiley9.gif" border="0">  It's nice to be missed...but I've been here (honest!).  I posted a few times yesterday, I think mostly in the Health Forum.
Not really riding much right now, so don't have much to report <IMG src="smileys/smiley6.gif" border="0">

by **Sunny Side Up** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:52 am

Well as you know, I'm not riding much either...  Oh, but I did try out the paint mare my daughter's been working with.  I rode her on Sunday night, and my thighs are still aching.  It was soooo nice to be able to ride a horse that could actually canter!  My daughter has done some amazing work with her and it shows.  She's got her next h/j show coming up on Sunday where she'll be making her jumping debut - we're very excited!
How are things going with Dali and PC?  Have you been back on since your upset a couple of weeks ago?

by **Lix** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:15 am

Chenders... I was going to write asking about Dali. I think I saw something in another thread (can't remember now which one) where you quickly mentioned that you were leaning towards selling. Are you still feeling that way or was it just a bad day? How are things going in general? <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0"> SSU- so neat that you got to ride. That achy feeling is kind of good isn't it? <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">

by **horsemad!** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:20 am

Yeah, missing you Chenders (how are things going with Dali?)… missing lots of the old regulars, really. Everyone must be busy. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0">

by **chenders01** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:21 am

Welll, first, no, I haven't been back on Dali.  I really have no desire to get back up on him.  Every time I think I might like to try, I remember how nervous I am every time I get up on his back...and I also remember getting bucked off <IMG src="smileys/smiley6.gif" border="0">
PC is only able to ride him Fridays and Saturdays, but her rides have been going well.  His canter has already improved over what it was when she first started with him.  It's all about balance and fitness for him right now.  It's hard for him to canter on a circle so he gets a little excited when he's asked to do it.  PC is hoping that with time and work, he will develop his balance so that he can carry himself on a circle without needing to flip his head to keep his balance (he's got a reeealllly looooonnng stride).
I am "trying out" a 3yo Paint filly at our barn.  She's really, really quiet but very, very green, and hasn't been exposed to much.  If I like her and Dali sells, I might part-board her for awhile and then maybe buy her.  For the time being, the BO is being generous in letting me ride her, so that I can get my confidence back that I lost with Dali.
So, that's about where things stand right now. 
Very exciting about your daughter!  I'm sure she'll do well at her jumping "debut".  Be sure to post an update and tell us how she did.

by **AWSgurl** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:06 am

chenders I feel so bad for you, been there done that and I don't blame you one bit for not getting back on, I hope you can get a horse that will get your confidence back.......and enjoy riding again!<IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">

by **chenders01** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:12 am

Thanks, AWSgurl <IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">  I'm really sad about Dali as I really do love him, but sometimes you just have to say "enough is enough" and move on.
On a positive note, I really like this little Paint.  I tried to canter her on Sunday (on the lunge) but we were on her "bad" side so she didn't want to go.  We switched to her other side but the arena was so full of horses and people that she was too distracted (the "joys" of a baby).  I'm hoping to ride her again tonight and maybe this time, I'll be brave enough to try her OFF the lunge-line <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">
She is a sweetheart...quiet, lazy and SHORT!  Exactly the type of horse I need right now.

by **goldendryad** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:32 am

Chenders - you have to remind yourself that Dali's bucking was NOT meanness or to get you off. It was high spirits, which can happen in any horse, even a seemingly quiet horse. I know what it is to lose your nerve riding, I've been there. But you also have to push yourself to get past it. At least get up on his back and go back to walk and just walk until you are comfortable again. Relax, remind yourself to stay calm and trusting...horses react to your emotional state. But don't write him off yet, so far he sounds like a very good horse. At least get back on him and get past the initial fear before you move him on. As for the paint youngster - she sounds quite nice, but a young, lazy, greenie is also quite likely to buck. I know a lot of very quiet, lazy horses who like to buck as a resistance to doing any work. Just because she seems super quiet doesn't mean she won't act up.

by **Lix** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:34 am

Chenders... is he actually for sale right now?... I hope it all works out for you. It's nice that you found a horse you feel more comfortable on. Make sure however that a 3 yr old is right for you before you go ahead. At 3 years old, there is still alot of work ahead of her...

by **Sunny Side Up** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:40 am

Chenders, I completely understand where you're at with Dali.  I love Sunny to pieces, but my ride on this other horse made me realize how much I missed having a horse who can actually be worked.  I love to trail and hack and Sunny is perfect for that, but I also long to work on the things that Sunny cant do any more - like canter...
So, I waffle back and forth on whether to keep him.  I love him so much, and so I had almost convinced myself that I didnt care if I rode or not; I'd just keep him, but riding this mare the other day reminded me of what I've been missing.  I definitely have more thinking to do, but I'm not in a hurry to reach a decision.

by **horsemad!** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:47 am

I believe you’ll know in your heart what is right for you Chenders. If you decide to sell Dali, it’s not because you don’t love him, but because you feel he’s just not the perfect horse for you and you’re not the perfect person for him.   There will come a time when the right decision will be very clear in your mind.   If you don’t trust Dali or feel that you can learn to trust him and progress with him, then I think you’re right to make a change. This, after all, is supposed to be fun, right? I’ve gone through the whole shattered confidence thing (as a result of many shattered bones) and know how it feels to be scared and know it’s not a nice feeling. Eventually there will be a horse that helps you get over that – whether for you that’s going to be Dali or not is as yet undetermined. Good luck, whatever you decide! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0">

by **Ruth** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:50 am

Chenders, I've got to agree that a 3 yo is probably not the best solution if you've lost your nerve. Lots of youngsters that are quiet go through a phase where they say "NO" and that can include some bucking, running out of the ring, etc., until you work them through it and convince them that they do have to do as they're told. If you've lost confidence look for an older schooled horse, don't buy a young unknown quantity because she's at your barn. It's great that you can ride her, but riding her for someone else and owning her are different balls of wax! Or maybe lease or part-board a schoolmaster until you feel more confident.

by **chenders01** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 10:52 am

No, Lix, he's not officially for sale as of yet.  I want his canter to be more in control before I start to have potential buyers out to see him.
GD, I hear what you're saying, but the problem with just walking Dali is that he doesn't really like to just walk when we're first starting out.  Even if I lunge him first, when I get on, he wants to GO and if I want him to just walk quietly, he just gets agitated and flips his head, which makes me even MORE nervous.  So, we really are not a very good fit for each other <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">  The best time for me to get up on him would be *after* PC has worked with him and pooped him out a bit, so that all he wants to do is just walk.
And yeah, I hear ya on the young horse thing too.  A 3yo greenie is not really what I'm looking for and I'm making no commitments to buy her.  But the BO feels that she is quiet enough for me, and the two rides I had on her, I felt quite comfortable on her.  Of course, both these rides were on the lunge-line with someone else in control...it might be a whole different story once I'm on my own with her. 
Like I said, I've made no commitments regarding her, so if she turns out to not be suitable, then I'll just tell the BO that I don't want to ride her anymore.  The problem I have though, is that, for what I will get for Dali, I won't be able to afford the horse that will be best suited for me...which means that I'll either have to buy something young and train it, or buy something older (as in, over 15).  Something young that needs training seems to be a better option for me, as I have an experienced person who can help me train her, and then I won't have any "baggage" to deal with like I would have if I were to buy an older horse.

by **Dee22** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:24 am

[QUOTE=horsemad!]I believe you’ll know in your heart what is right for you Chenders.    There will come a time when the right decision will be very clear in your mind.   
[/QUOTE]
I totally agree! When I decided to sell Mopar, the 'for sure' decision came out of the blue. I went to dinner with my, at the time, coaches groom/friend. We were sitting there eating burgers and out it came "I think I should sell Mopar, what do you think?"... just like that... I'd been thinking it over in my head for a bit (like you) but hadn't come to a decision and hadn't said anything to anyone... I hadn't even actually decided when that question/decision popped out of my mouth. And that was it... we talked about it, I choked back tears, he said he thought it was a wise decision... I mentioned it to my coach, he said "I was wondering when you would finally decide to do this", we discussed a good price to ask and up his ad went. I had hoped it wouldn't take so long to sell him, which, really it only took 4 months to sell him and an extra month after that for him to leave. I just *knew* it was time, and knew it was the right choice and was something that had to be done. Sure I flip flopped about it over the next months while I was showing him. I had my coach show him because I couldn't bring myself to do it... everytime someone came to see him my nerves were frayed <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> But in the end I KNOW I did the right thing. Eja, as we've talked about before... is the love of my life and I couldn't have asked for a better partner... she has her 'moments' but what horse doesn't?
I agree with Horsemad! You'll just know when it's right <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">
And Chenders, honestly you can get a decent price for Dali, just decide on a price, allow a little room for negotiation and stick to that. Eventually the right person will come along, with the right amount of riding experience. I got $500 less than my asking price for Mopar in US funds which turned out to be almost exactly what I was originally asking in Canadian funds because the exchange rate had changed so much between Feb. and May and I hadn't changed my ad.
I also think something a bit older would be better for you. I didn't really want a baby but I found this GORGEOUS two year old that was exactly what I wanted in a horse... and he was aparantly so calm and quiet... but I knew from Mopar that young horses change and go through 'moments' and that was what brooke me the first time 'round, the seller was willing to give him to me for what I could offer and that was even before I went to see him. In the end, it was Kaleena (thanks kaleena!) who talked some sense into me and advised me against buying another baby, I needed something older and not so green to instill some confidence back into me.
You may have to settle for something that needs a 'bit' of work for a lower price but you can still get a horse that needs some work and still feel confident on it. Eja for instance, needs work but I feel confident on her and safe. I can hack her, ride her outdoors, inside, pretty much do anything with her... and still learn myself. It takes a while to find the right one, but when you do, it's all worth it!! <IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0"> Eja is almost 14 and I'm so glad I went for an older horse rather than a youngster!<edited><editID>Dee22</editID><editDate>38392.4774189815</editDate></edited>

by **Ruth** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:42 am

Chenders: I'm not casting aspersions on your coach here, but I've found that quite a few of them like you to buy a horse that is in their barn. I don't even think that they necessarily have an agenda behind it, and I'm not entirely sure why they do it, but I have seen plenty of instances where someone buys a horse from the coach's barn even when it isn't entirely suitable, it's almost like they do it because it's convenient and the coach says it's a good horse for them so they don't have a look around. Seriously consider leasing a schoolmaster. Does Piaffing still have Colby up for lease? Another option is adopting a STB, the ones that come through the agency usually do have a bit of work in to them. Really you could probably find something decent to lease for a year or two to get your sealegs back and then look at buying.

by **Sodapoppers** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:52 am

Wow...that must be some special 3yo! But i will agree that the young horses change...even little Harvey used to be so calm about riding and saddling she looked like she would fall asleep. Now lately she gets excited. Maybe because she enjoys it or is just changing...i don't know?  I'm not shy about handling problems on horse back - kicking, bucking, and head tossing, but I'm not ready to ride harvey yet! lol  that's why i say she must be a special 3yo <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">
Hey, nothing wrong with 15+ either <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> they've got lots of life left still. Look at Dali, he's only a couple years from that point. I'm glad to hear things with him and PC are going so well. Just take your time and when you feel comfortable getting on him again you will and it will be great <IMG src="smileys/smiley20.gif" border="0">

by **Lix** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 2:22 pm

[QUOTE=chenders01] The problem I have though, is that, for what I will get for Dali, I won't be able to afford the horse that will be best suited for me...which means that I'll either have to buy something young and train it, or buy something older (as in, over 15). [/QUOTE] Bah, I disagree. I think you can get decent money for Dali. And by decent, I mean somewhere between 3000-5000$. For that price, if you look hard enough in the right place, you can find a great deal. You already know my views on this <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> but I agree with Dee, you will know when it's right. It's not easy, you'll probably change your mind a couple times, but I think even right now, you know that you're not having any fun dealing with this. And that really defies the purpose of horse ownership doesn't it? I agree with you in that PC doing work on Dali is great right now. You are at a reasonably good time to sell (never try to sell end of summer if you are in a rush <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">). Just give yourelf time and I highly suggest, when you are ready, to use equine.com As for another horse, leasing is a great option. You don't like the horse, you give it back. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> But, I'm sure there's a horse out there that will make you feel like a million bucks when you get on. And that will be the 'one'. Ooooo, trust me, that feeling is the best in the world. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0">

by **chenders01** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 2:48 pm

Thanks, guys! <IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0"> 
Ruth, I don't really have a coach right now.  The BO is a trainer and happens to have this little Paint filly that he's trying to sell, but I don't think he's necessarily trying to push me into buying her.  I think he just feels bad that I've lost my confidence and is hoping that "Tequila" will help me to get it back (he really is a good guy).  We never talked about me buying her...that might be what he's hoping, but I won't buy her if I feel that she's not what I want.  I definitely won't rush into another horse purchase!  In fact, my "plan" all along was to find something to part-board...preferably a dressage schoolmaster, that I can really concentrate on MY riding with, versus a horse that requires training.
And speaking of horses that would be good for me...I've heard of a 10yo 15.1hh QH mare for sale at a local barn.  Goes english, is as quiet as they come, and they only want $5K for her.  Of course, I can't really go and look at her while I still have Dali, but SHE would be the type of horse that would be more up my alley. 
But...ya never know what may happen... 
I appreciate all the messages of caution and concern though....and believe me, I won't rush into buying ANYTHING unless I'm 100% sure that it's the right horse for me <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">
Besides...I gotta sell the one I've got first.

by **Ruth** » Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:01 pm

No, I'm not really saying that he's trying to push you into it. It's hard to explain and it's just one of my observations of life in the horse world, that people will buy a horse from someone they know, even if it's not 100% the right horse instead of looking around.     That QH mare does sound good, and you know what, when you're ready to look there'll be one just like her waiting for you. We may (and I stress MAY) buy or lease another broodmare this year and everytime Terry sees a good deal in the paper he wants to go look. I just keep saying "There'll be another one when we actually have a stall to put her in!" There's always horses for sale.

Chenders!

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