Help from married EC folk please!

[Patricia]

My wedding was similar to Chenders.  It was at a small hall and was served family style...platters of food...for about $25/plate.  The meal was Italian...We had about 100 guests.  We also had a great band for dancing.  It sounds like that golf club you just found sounds perfect.  Definitely cut down that guest list.  Especially if you are paying.  Only immediate family/friends. 
Just last year I attended a candlelight wedding...like on a Friday or Saturday evening.  It was held at their home...very spacious and decorated beautifully.  Afterwards me mingled throughout the house and they had it catered by a company that does up these lovely trays of fancy bite size snacks....Self serve bar.  It was really nice....your could do it buffet style. 
Definitely investigate the golf club...those are usually nice settings and their food is usually first class.

[Dee22]

Sorry, Lix, I posted at the same time as you... (ie:after you explained about why the barn isn't a good diea for the reception)
The golf course sounds like a great idea! And the price for the food sounds good too!

<edited><editID>Dee22</editID><editDate>38399.5410069444</editDate></edited>

[BTDT]

Well as a professional event planner (in my real life .. the one that pays for the pony), I too say $31 - $45 is a great price for dinner, specially sit down but then I live and work in Toronto.&nbsp; Does this include any wine, drinks, pop?&nbsp; The golf course can be a great spot for a wedding and you most likely will have instant photo ops in surrounding gardens too.&nbsp;
I'm sure that you are well into your arrangements now but options that I've always found really nice are:
1) Sunset wedding with a desert buffet and champagne cocktails and dancing.
2) Have a breakfast wedding (yes breakfast) and do brunch (with no booze or just champagne and orange juice (a really big savings).
3) Make a vacation party out of it.&nbsp; Cuba (yes Cuba) has some really great incentives for wedding parties .. discounted rooms and airfares. Get married on the beach (they do all the work) food is cheap and usually included in part of your package AND you get discounts for going back on your anniversaries too.&nbsp; Let your guests pay for a great vacation getaway and a memorable event offshore.&nbsp; Put your money towards your parents and or maids of honour to come and go casual on the beach .. dress everyone in sarongs.&nbsp; You'd be surprised how much this doesn't all cost.
TIP .. with your golf course or any event centre .. when negotiating, ask how much they overset for.&nbsp; It's usually 5% of your guarnatee.&nbsp; What you do is reduce your guarantee by 5% of those who have actually RSVP.&nbsp; That way you won't be paying for the 5% who won't show up!&nbsp; AND if you can go buffet .. even more value for your dollar.
Don't hesitate to go to the chef of your event location and say ..." I have $30 to spend in my budget on food.&nbsp; Can you please come up with a menu, maybe something a little different".&nbsp; You'll be surprised what you might get in return.&nbsp; Also, make sure one of your friends or family is taking a COUNT of how many actually come in and sit down.&nbsp; I've had catering staff do a count and cost during an event and its usually in their favour.
LAST TIP ... make sure you appoint a friend or relative (with their permission of course)&nbsp;to be your "administrator" on the day of your wedding to make sure you are getting everything you are paying for and that arrangements are taking place as you planned. That way you'll enjoy your day instead of working it.
Have Fun!
Edit to include .. if you do a beach vacation wedding .. make it a memory by having beach towels embroidered with your name, date and location .. one for each guest attending.&nbsp; AND/or give everyone a really funky sun hat (guys too) that they were to your ceremony .. get them silk screen to say Bride Guest&nbsp; / Groom Guest.&nbsp; It's a hoot.<edited><editID>BTDT</editID><editDate>38399.5459143519</editDate></edited>

[Lix]

Wow guys, love the ideas. Dee, restaurant is a good idea. I'd have to find one in my area but it's a good idea for sure. <br /> <br />12th! How awesome! What a beautiful gesture to include your guests by having ones on the aisle hand you the flowers as you head up the aisle. Love it! <br /> <br />Jax- I'm like you, LOL, never pay very much for meals so I was impressed with the 21$. Plus, that's the MOST expensive plate! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0"> Woot woot! I love how there are about 45 options too and you can also make it custom to fit your taste and budget!<img border="0" src="smileys/smiley20.gif" border="0"> Not that I need to worry about budget too much anymore when the price is that good! <br /> <br />That wedding you went to sounds <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley11.gif" border="0">. That is not my type of thing at all. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> I want everyone to feel special and included and not like they are just sitting there watching me strut my stuff. I know that you don't mean I'm "simple" in a bad way. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> Actually, I'm a very simple person. I like nature, things to be down to earth and hate to be showy so I want my wedding to reflect that. <br /> <br />My girls (the furry ones) will all be part of my wedding one way or another, no matter how crazy people think I am. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley29.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />Patricia- candelight wedding sounds beautiful also!

[Arcadia]

When my hubby's sister got married we used the barn for the dance floor (it's an equipment barn with concrete floor) and attached a big tent to it and had the tables in there. It was a very nice, cosy wedding. <br />

[Lix]

BTDT - Great ideas and thanks so much for the tips!! What does overset mean however? (I'm gonna use the excuse that I'm French here <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0">) Does that mean the place charges you 5% more on top of everything for service or something? <br /> <br />That's such a great idea to have someone check that everything is what it's supposed to be, etc to ensure you are not losing money. Will do that for sure! <br /> <br />The golf course sounds very flexible and I think it would probably be totally reasonable to do what you said and give them my price per head and see what they can offer. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0">

[geldinggirlie]

<br />Ooh Lix, aren't the possibilities endless?? <br /> <br />I've actually decided to nix the Horse & Carriage idea, it's too pricey, and I think too dangerous. It also seriously limited my reception places. <br /> <br />Soooooooo, Since i've decided to not have that, my reception ideas have exploded. <br /> <br />Now, the So and i arent big party people, and I actually have been thinking about mentioning having a late morning wedding and an afternoon buffet-type reception. Maybe it's because i have 3 older siblings that have been/are getting married and I'd like to do something a little bit different then they have. But we're not party people, and it might not make sense to have a huge dancing party when we're not really like that. I'm guessing it'll end up as that though. <br /> <br />My parents are paying for the dinner & reception, the fiance's parents are paying for the alcohol for sure and probably some of the flowers - although im keeping my flowers cheap, My bouquet is going to be Calla lilies, tied up with a bow. I'll probably just go to a local flower grower the day before the wedding, heh, i could even maybe try growing them myself!! riiiight, they'd probably die hehe.... <br /> <br />I want to keep the dinner to less than 7500, we're looking at about 130 guests. That's immediate Family, family friends, our friends, and aunts & Uncles but only cousins that are involved in our lives. in fact, we're not inviting my dad's family because they have nothing to do with us at all -- we call them the "Wedding & Funeral family" those are the only times we see them. <br /> <br />Most important Lix -- Remember, it's Your wedding, no one elses, and if you're paying for it yourself, then you get the final say. People should respect your decisions. and if you dont want to invite your third cousin twice removed, Dont. <br /> <br />And dont forget about your stag and doe, when done right, you could make Quite a bit of money from it to help with the wedding (or that pesky mortgage <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> )

[Sunny Side Up]

I'm really not that old, but my wedding dinner was $7.50 a plate!&nbsp; Roast beef, yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, salad.
If I got married again, I'd elope.&nbsp; I bet&nbsp;there are at least&nbsp;50 people out of the 168 that were at my wedding that I havent seen since that day!&nbsp; I think brides-to-be fall into the trap of doing what they think is expected of them, rather than doing what they want to do.&nbsp;

[horsemad!]

For flowers, if you know anyone who runs their own business and has access to a wholesaler, flowers can be dead cheap. I went with a friend to some flower wholesalers and spent $150 on flowers. We literally filled up the hatch back of her Saab with beautiful, fresh, uncommon flowers and my step-mom did a fantastick Martha-frickin-Stewart job of arranging them and making my bouquet.

[jax]

SSU, that's why my sister eloped.&nbsp; Her fiance's family kept wanting to invite more and more people - people that he didn't even know - and the guest list went up to 30 on our side and 220 on their side.&nbsp; And they wouldn't back down.&nbsp; So, screw it, they went to the Dominican and got married on the beach.
Hey, you have a forested area, no?&nbsp; Are there any clearings that you could get married in?&nbsp; Have a nice cedar bark path all the way to the clearing, torches, kids playing, dogs running around, a little arbour covered in vines and flowers...
Okay, I'm getting out of control.&nbsp; I'll stop. <IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">

[Marty_Jones]

My BF rents had tickets for the dinner and dance for people to buy, and their rents helped pay too...

[Foxie]

I'm also voting for the Golf course. You can't go wrong there and the price!!!!<IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/smileys/smiley20.gif" border="0">
I agree about the flowers. My cousin went to some wholesale/home show and bought some centerpiece, took it apart and made it our bouquet. They were really nice and super cheap. I think like $4.00. She wrapped them first with green tape then green ribbon. You would never have known what they really were.
130 people a big wedding???? Try 800!! Shameless money grab. 150-250 is about average. One of my fav's had only 80 prople. It was at a hotel. You could actually talk to everyone.

[BTDT]

Lix .. Overset is the percentage they make dinner for in excess of what you guarantee ... ie if you have 100 people coming they'll have food ready and can seat an extra 5 people (if they overset 5%).
That does not mean to say that you get 5 dinners&nbsp;for free but if you use them you'll pay for them.&nbsp; BUT if you count on having 5 people not showing up, don't guarantee for the full count but know that you can put at least 5 more bums in seats if you have to.&nbsp; (hope that made sense).
Also, think of your appointed friend as your Event Director.&nbsp; Make sure he/she (I could tell you that a "he" is better at a wedding)&nbsp;is included on some of the negotiations or meetings with your golf club (if that's where you end up going), and your photographer.&nbsp; Work with her to put together a timetable for the day as a guideline (keep it realistic) that she can follow and make sure everything is ready to go on time for you.&nbsp; It won't save you money so much as save you some heart ache and stress because (and sorry mods) sh*t happens.&nbsp; Oh and your day starts from when you wake up and where you wake up!
Also, don't forget when looking at the golf club, to plan a backup for any functions you might want to do outside... make sure that they have space reserved for you inside.&nbsp; You might want to ask if there is anything else going on on your day and ask them again, closer to the event.
You are going to be sooooo stressed by the time you finish this.

[BTDT]

Cripes .. almost forgot .. on your invitation to your guests, don't forget to ask for food allergies or vegetarian requests.&nbsp; These days its a must. AND make sure you check with the golf course (or where ever) what their vegetarian menu is.&nbsp; Sometimes its less than appetizing or original.
See .. you've got me going now.&nbsp; If you ARE planning on bringing your dogs to be part of your special day, please check with the facility first and if they are okay with it. Make sure they bring a 2 footed date to babysit them or to take them home at a reasonable time.&nbsp; I know a friend who did this and the poor little guy sat in the back of the truck for 5 hours waiting for the party to finish.&nbsp; We won't talk about the killer dog farts and barfing from getting into the food and having people feed him.&nbsp; Blecccch&nbsp;<edited><editID>BTDT</editID><editDate>38399.7175115741</editDate></edited>

[Kobau]

<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNABLE="on">
<T>
<TR height="100%" width="100%" UNABLE="on">
<TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNABLE="off">
BTDT, if or whenever i get around to getting married i'm emailing you!
As for wedding party size when my bf and i talked about all this we figured we'd be a tiny wedding... about 20 ppl total!!! </TD></TR>
<TR UNABLE="on" hb_tag="1">
<TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNABLE="on">
<DIV id=hotbar_promo></DIV></TD></TR></T></TABLE>

[Wildie]

Something I forgot to mention is we got married at 10am. Forget all the waiting all day long getting all stressed out... It was great we were done at the reception (and we opened gifts) by 3:30-4pm.
A friend actually rented a ski lodge out of season for her wedding reception and got a huge deal on it.
I am not a fancy plate dinner type, I'd perfer a buffet any day b/c just b/c it sounds good 4mths b4 the dinner, on the day you might be craving something else. And it gives the guests a choice in what they want to eat!!!
The best wedding photos are the ones captured by friends and family not the photographer. Spend the $$ and put good disposable camera's with flashes (kodak MAX is awesome) on each table.
As center peices we had really nice floating candles and we put stickers under X# of chairs and anyone with a sticker got to keep a center peice (so I didn't end up with 30 of them!!!), or a bunch of the flowers.

[BTDT]

Hey Kobau ...&nbsp; 20 hey???&nbsp; I'd like you to write that on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and put it somewhere that you remember to open it the day you start to plan your wedding .... PROMISE TO SELF. Goodluck.
Tip to save a little money.&nbsp; Don't carry flowers ... carry your family bible or if not religous, carry a book of love poems (don't get a paperback). Put a really nice trailing ribbon on it that compliments your outfit.&nbsp; Decorate with ribbons .. lots of ribbons (not flowers).&nbsp; Go to a wholesale place to buy them.&nbsp; Instead of floral centres on your tables, get something glass or crystal and put a floating candle in it then give it away as a table gift to one lucky person at the table.
Don't get me going on my pet wedding peeves.&nbsp; It drives me crazy that famillies will apply sooo much pressure to have big family weddings these days.&nbsp; The cost is just so crazy and if you add it all up, you could have a nice down payment on a house.&nbsp; (or a new horse:))
I'm sorry but if someone wants to have a family reunion ... knock yourself out .. go for it but not at my wedding you won't.
If you have lots of money, and want to have a real blast .. there is just sooo much fun stuff that you can do, still without being ripped off.&nbsp; You just add on extras.&nbsp; But like most of the real world and you are just starting out, want a house, or just start it debt free, I think it is so unfair to even expect parents to foot this kind of bill.
My dream wedding ... a trip to a nice warm Carribean Island.&nbsp; Do it over two weeks.&nbsp; First week, party, sightsee with friends and family who have joined you, putting a photo/video album of experiences together.&nbsp; At the end of the week, get married on the beach at sunset&nbsp;and have a really nice meal beach side .. no shoes or socks ... and then the next day everyone but the happy couple goes home.&nbsp; The happy couple stays on for a second week to recover, relax and start a new life together without any pressure.&nbsp; When you get back, book a fun bar&nbsp;for the night for a big group party .. friends, family, office and barn pals whatever.&nbsp; You can even do a slide show of your wedding on a big screen TV.&nbsp; (that would be a buy your own booze party .. you buy finger snacks)<edited><editID>BTDT</editID><editDate>38399.7523032407</editDate></edited>

[Foxie]

Well to each there own. I happen to like the family weddings. Nothing better then to have my family and friends to share and enjoy one of the most important days of my life.
Lix, you decide what your budget is, then decide what you can't live without for the wedding and then&nbsp;the leftover can go to extra's. Jack and Jill's are a great way to make money. Alot of places, like restaurants will donate prizes if you ask. My cousin got some awesome stuff. Research and shop around. Its amazing how you can stretch a buck. The Kodak camera's are great. Every table had one and some pic's where really good but they couldn't sub for the photographer's(sp?) pictures. They were beautiful.
You know I always liked the getting married in Vegas by Elvis in a drive thru in a pink cady!!!!<IMG src="smileys/smiley8.gif" border="0">&nbsp;LOL Actually I always said I would if I ever got married a second time!!!

[Easter]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Lix - you live in Ottawa right? I got married in Ottawa in June 2003 and I can give you some of the vendors we used. We ended up getting married at a place called in Beantown in Wendover (not that far from Rubberman's place), but I think that may be a bit far for you. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Anyway, feel free to ask me any questions!#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Lix]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#Oooh, I just got to read this!&nbsp; #ed_op#IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/richedit/smileys/Sad/4.gif"#ed_cl#&nbsp; I had almost forgotten about this...!#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#BTDT you are a wealth of knowledge when it comes to this! &nbsp; #ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#Easter, neat, I did look into beantown ranch but it was a little far.&nbsp; Looked so pretty there though!!!&nbsp; If I have questions, I'll be sure to ask you though! #ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#No worries about the dogs or the outside or anything.&nbsp; As I mentioned, I will be getting married at home, in my backyard (the barn).&nbsp; I will only have the dinner and party at the golf course.&nbsp; The dogs will be home in their little crates.&nbsp; &nbsp; The reception will be held inside in a large room at the golf course so no need to worry about weather.#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#I'm split on my opinion of family (not immediate but extended family).&nbsp; In a way, I agree, they are not best friends and don't see them that often but they are people that have known you since you are 1 day old.&nbsp; They are people that will always be part of your life in one way or another.&nbsp; So in a way, I want them there, in a way, I don't.&nbsp; Just too bad there are so many.&nbsp; Both my fiance and I have huge families!&nbsp; #ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#One thing I DO agree 100% is that I AM NOT up to spending thousands and thousand on a wedding that will last one day when I could be putting into a car or my mortgage!&nbsp; I will do everything as economicaly as I can and that's a main reason why I want no more than 50 people for the wedding and dinner.&nbsp; More can come after, since that's not really a cost once you have the room rented.#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#I'm still unsure on buffet vs served plate.&nbsp; Even for the plates, there are many options...&nbsp; Both prices come to the same thing so it should be ok but I'm not sure if I want to do it more traditional (plate) or let everyone get what they want by doing the buffet.&nbsp; The buffet I believe was salads, roast beef, potatoes, veggies and dip, buns, lasagna (vegetarian or meat), and desserts and coffee/tea.&nbsp; Don't remember if there was something else but that's what the one was like that was about 15$ per person.#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl#Any opinions on this (plate vs. buffet)?&nbsp; &nbsp;#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face=Tahoma#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#&nbsp;#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#