Nasty man!

[tbbrat]

I had to go down to Six Nations this morning to update my Status card.  My ex was Mohawk and I gained Native status through our marriage.  He passed away at Christmas and even though we had been separated for a few years, it was a shock and upsetting.
Needless to say, it was rather an emotional experience driving through places where we had been together, as was going to the Band Office. 
There was a man came in behind me, looked over and asked "How did <strong>you</strong> ever get a card like that!" in a very belligerent tone of voice.&nbsp; I said, very mildly, that I had married before they changed the Indian Act.&nbsp; He said that if he was in charge, people like me would never be allowed to have them and then he stomped out muttering about f***ing white people.&nbsp; I was almost afraid to go out to my car after that in case he was waiting for me, or had damaged my car!&nbsp; I asked the woman behind the counter what his problem was - she said he was one of the "traditionalists".&nbsp;
Now I know what black people have suffered all these years - it really ruined my day.<IMG src="smileys/smiley11.gif" border="0">

[Ruth]

What a jerk! There's no need to behave like that, whatever his opinions are. It's amazing what we don't think about though, being the majority, I remember spending a weekend in the South Bronx and how weird it was to be the only blonde for miles.

[tbbrat]

That's kind of what I thought - obviously I had enough respect for his race to marry one!&nbsp; I guess someone p*ssed in his corn soup this morning. <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">
About the only workplace where I've not felt in the minority, in the last few years, has been the racetrack - although as a woman, I certainly wasn't in the majority, genderwise.
&nbsp;

[BBelleTB]

to be honest, and im not trying to be ingnorant but i feel the same way. Native indians in our country get treated a certain way beacuse of their heritage (ie tax breaks reserves etc) and for someone who has no indian ancestry or heritage to continue upholding their "status card" which they only obtained through marriage, to me is just taking advantage of the system

[Ruth]

I think that she was letting them know that she was no longer entitled to it.

[tbbrat]

Sorry you feel that way, BB, but that was the law in place when we married, so I <EM>am</EM> entitled to it.&nbsp; In fact, I was very happy when they changed the Indian Act so that women who had lost their status through marriage were able to get it back, and if at that time, they had decided that I was no longer entitled, I would have accepted it.&nbsp;
I don't feel that I am taking advantage of, or abusing anything.&nbsp; In fact, I rarely use it.

[horsemad!]

Legally you may be entitled, but I’d be curious to know <u>practically</u> why you think you are.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;This is a man you married, but had been separated from for a few years. If I were divorced or separated from my husband, I don't believe I'd have the same sense of entitlement as you do. <br /> <br />In saying that, there’s still no excuse for rude behaviour and I think the “nasty man” was out of line.

[tbbrat]

Practically?&nbsp; Well, it's the only form of health insurance I have - and I haven't had a job since 1992 that offered <EM>any</EM> kind of benefits.&nbsp;
And, for what it's worth, I left because he was an alcoholic and had become physically abusive.&nbsp; It was for my safety, not just a whim.

[goldendryad]

<font color="magenta">First off, that guy had no right being rude, no matter what. If he thinks tantrums are okay, he seriously needs to grow up. <br /> <br />I am currently in a "First Nations Issues" journalism class at University. <br /> <br />Second - From the history I have learnt: there was a real problem with non-First Nations people getting status, so much that there was too many and there were a lot of Status people with no First Nations in them at all. These people did not have disenfranchised ancestors on reserves who signed treaties. Technically, they have no right to the special status. <br /> <br />In Saskatchewan (and this is my area of knowledge, I live here) the only bonuses they get here is no tax ON RESERVE so if they live in our communities, they pay tax, just like everyone else does. <br />Tuition may also be payed by their band....but most have to wait a year for that, and there is usually a waiting list...and they still have to provide food/shelter/etc...and they have the right to hunt,trap and fish year round. Really those are not over and above our rights that much. And out here, sure if you're on reserve you don't pay tax...but there are no jobs, housing is provided but often it's very crappy and crowded...the water is undrinkable because the pipes are old and faulty. They do not get a free ride and most are not hosers off the government. There are a lot of stereotypes and misconceptions out there. <br /> <br />As far as I know there are no really substantial health/dental benefits either. Out here, if there are any they are small and depend entirely on the band/reserve.

[12th of Never]

Well I think that the man was definetely out of line. I also dont think that anyone is saying you left your husband on a whim, abuse in any form is just not acceptable. But we do live in Canada where we do get health care, many people have jobs where they dont get benefits, health care plans in Canada are very reasonable. I think people are just saying that in a normal divorce/separation u would never get those benefits. For instance my mom divorced my dad and when she did she was cut off from his benefits package, she was just starting out in Real Estate so she had virtually no income and she had heart surgery at 23 (medical is NOT cheap when u've had that). But she had to get her own benefits.... I think thats pretty much all people are saying, if Im making any sense.<IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">

[Kobau]

#1 the guy was out of line! i know people that are 1/4-1/2 native, and they have light skin and eyes, those are the genetic traits they got from parents etc...
Where i used to live, was right across the street fromt he reserve, and we had a native gas station just down the road(on reserve but open to all) They kept assuming that i was native, because darker skin and hair. But i'm not status, we have native relatives etc and a tiny drop of native blood in us that is it... so it annoys me when ppl assume that colour of skin says ethnicity. I was thought to be native because of skin, others who are native heritage are thought not to be because of skin! it p!sses me off to no end. If my grandfather had chossen to get his status, which he could have at one point, and my mother had done the same, I would likely have gotten my status also. But only because i'm very proud of my native relatives. The only tax break i know of for natives where i was (BC) was no tax on the reserve, so if they bought something they had it delivered on reserve, and saved the tax $.... they all also worked, ran one of the best wineries in canada and had a great relationship with the community....

[12th of Never]

where did u live in BC, Kobau?? just curious cuz i live here

[lola s]

I agree the man had no right to talk to you so rudely, HOWEVER I do agree with him.&nbsp; I am Metis and it irritates the hell out of me to have people be able to gain status and advantage without having once ounce of native blood.&nbsp; It is NOT your birthright and it shouldn't be a marriage right.&nbsp; It is upsetting for aboriginal people to see their resources being used up by people that have no bloodline or right to them.&nbsp; That law dates back from when women were seen as property, including women of non-aboriginal backgrounds that married into that bloodline.&nbsp; Its wrong.

[Judy F]

I can understand both sides of this issue. I am not native american but I am deaf. I used to wear my hair in one long braid behind by back. We visited my ex's old high school for a reunion and my hubbie introduced me to his old principal. The man commented on my dark skin (it was May) and Hubby explainded I was outside a lot. The old idiot thoght I was native because of my hair!!!<img border="0" src="smileys/smiley3.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />A few years later, I was included in a survey at work for people of minorities and/or disabilities. Being deaf qualified me! Later, someone came by to go over the questionaire with me to make sure I had understood the questions. My first reaction was "Duh, they weren't that hard!!" <br /> <br />Seems that in the list of possibilities, they had "Status Indian" and "Non-status Indian" and a lot of whites had checed off "non-status Indian" because they thought that was the alternative to "Indian" period<img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />I can definitely understand your wanting to keep your card for the medical benefits. I hope in time you will be able to qualify for benefits on your own and be able to go back to being "white."

[Kobau]

12th, i'm originally from Vancouver,but spent most ofmy life so far in the Okanagan, Oliver to be exact! that is how i knew where abouts you were sending your horsey!

[annie]

You have to do what you think is right for you re your status card.&nbsp; I think everyone has&nbsp;a right to basic economic security, and if you get that through your card you&nbsp;shouldn't have to&nbsp;explain that to us or anyone.
That said, you need to put yourself in that man's shoes.&nbsp; You also need to realise that he probably wasn't mad at you, but at a much larger socio-political-legal reality.&nbsp; This question is so complex because the very notion of status is not something that was ever chosen or decided by any natives - it was imposed by a bunch of white men who were lawyers and parliamentarians.&nbsp; This man's view is certainly not monolithic among different native people.
You and I and most of the people on here benefit from white privilege.&nbsp; This affords us the "luxury" of not having to notice the thoudands of racist experiences that someone from a racialized community has to.&nbsp; We assume that racism only exists if we can see it (I hear people talking about "overt" racism all the time).&nbsp; What we see is the tip of the iceberg.&nbsp; The rest is usually what we choose not to see, because for better or worse we participate in it ourselves.&nbsp;
It is really hard to challenge our own racism, because the word has become so loaded.&nbsp; Really, like almost all behaviours racism exists on a continuum from lynchings right down to prejudices we might not even be able to identify in ourselves.
tbbrat, I think granted your circumstances surrounding your separation from your husband you might find some of the litterature really interesting about how violence against women in many aboriginal cultures was a product of colonialism.&nbsp; Anywho, I can send you some stuff if you're interested.&nbsp; Trish Monture is an author who is just excellent - Goldendryad, she might teach at your school. She's at the University of Saskatchewan.&nbsp; She used to teach law at U of Ottawa until she quit.&nbsp; I would recomment her writing to anyone/everyone.
I think if you villify this guy you are furthering the problem.&nbsp; You can take this opportunity to try and understand where he stands, and hope that the ball keeps moving in that direction.

[Lix]

In my opinion, this is tbbrat's choice (to renew or not). I think the thread was written more to observe the rudeness of the man she encountered. And whether his opinion is justified or not, expressing himself that way was not correct. I would have felt bad too tbbrat. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /> <br />The issue about the card renewal seems pretty personal decision/choice to me. Not really for us to say. That's just my humble opinion. <br /> <br />Not that I don't understand aboriginal people. My half sister and half brother both have status (1/2 native). My Dad's ex-wife was aboriginal, they met on a reserve. It's just that this is a whole different topic. <br /> <br />

[annie]

[QUOTE=Lix]I think the thread was written more to observe the rudeness of the man she encountered. And whether his opinion is justified or not, expressing himself that way was not correct.&nbsp;[/QUOTE]
Sure.&nbsp; I don't think that means that the discussion has to be limited to that observation.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everyone is being respectful and I don't see why the discussion should be limited just because it's not an easy one.

[Lix]

I know Annie <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />I also hate when people play 'moderator' when they aren't. And I certainly am not. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0"> And I agree, that topics that branch off into something else sometimes lead to great discussions! <br /> <br />I'm sure tbbrat will let us know her limits, I just didn't want anyone to get hurt. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"><edited><editID>Lix</editID><editDate>38397.3187037037</editDate></edited>