Help from married EC folk please!

[Lix]

Or those who are in the process. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />How many people attended your actual wedding and stayed for the dinner? I'm looking at about 50 people for the wedding and dinner and an additional 150 (the list is growing by the minute) for the reception party. <br /> <br />Now the place that I would like charges 39$ a plate!!! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley3.gif" border="0"> Not counting a service charge plus tax. All in all, it's about 50$ a plate and for 50 guests, that comes up to 2500$ for dinner alone! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> Suddenly, wedding doesn't sound so appealing! <br /> <br />Ok, so my questions: <br />-Is that an insane price for dinner??? Unfortunately, due to my location, I've got the choice between this big farm or a hockey arena, unless I want to travel 30+ minutes to the dinner. Then even with the arena or other, I still have a problem with overnight accomodations. This big farm is also a B&B and has rooms for people to stay over after the reception. It's perfect but the price of the meal bugging me. <br /> <br />-I want a small private wedding. Both our families however are very big and family members alone are taking up 3/4 of our list. Is it ok to invite 150 extra guests for the party alone? <br /> <br />-How do people possibly pay for weddings??? We just bought a house and are completely broke. Even if I saved money until next year, it won't be nearly enough. I'm not one for show and snottiness and I want to keep the costs down. What are my alternatives? I looked into renting a tent to put on the property but that won't work cause the costs is still pretty high plus we have a washroom and mosquito problem there. <br /> <br />Thanks for your help guys. I will probably have a lot of 'wedding' related questions in the next little bit and know you guys pretty much know everything about everything <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">

[Kobau]

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I know my sis dealt with the food cost prob for her wedding( sis #2 that is) having a catering company do kind of a pot-luck supper for us. forget what it was all i remember is it tasted great and it was cheaper for my sis... Sis #3 went to the JP, then went skiing with her hubby for the weekend so they didn't deal with any of this!
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[AQHAgirl]

I held my wedding at a local place (it's a small town) amd had the fair board ladies cater it with a buffet style turkey dinner including homemade pie.....veggies, buns ,potatoes....think Thanksgiving....and it was only like $15 per plate then had a catering company do a midnight meals of sandwiches salads etc....other nibble thing during the dance and it was very resonable for well as it was for the like 150 people and there was tons of leftovers. So yeah I think $39 per plate in crazy..but it depends how fancy the venue is!

[Lix]

Thanks guys. <br /> <br />The 39$ meal is nice and has so many options but it's a little fancier than what I would like. Unfortunately, that's all the offer there. There's no more 'economical' choice... <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">

[horsemad!]

I was married at my dad’s place under a marquee. We had fabulous caterers do a delicious dinner for $25/plate and there was so much food - really good quality food - that guests took home doggy bags!&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;In the long run, though, it was more expensive than doing the reception in a hall… the costs add up, even when you’re doing most of the stuff yourself (tent, tables and chairs, catering, cake, flowers, minister, etc. etc. etc.). <br /> <br />I can’t imagine inviting 150 people… it was almost a stretch for me to come up with 50 people I cared enough about to invite them to my wedding. I didn’t invite any family that I don’t routinely talk to and visit, no long lost school chums, no one from work other than my very best work friends… so it was very small and intimate and we had a great time! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0">

[taco2]

If you have no other option, then perhaps widdling down your guest list is the other option!
At my wedding, if I would have invited EVERYONE I wanted too, I'd of had about 250 people, (large family), and tonnes of friends!&nbsp; But, that just was not feasible, so we had to really cut it down.
So, we also had a Potluck BBQ a few months before our wedding for those who we could not fit on our guest list.&nbsp; It worked great for us.

[Foxie]

$35/plate??? That is soooo cheap. I know from friends getting married you can't find anything less then $100/plate. My&nbsp;friend got married at Glen Abbey golf course and she paid I think it was $150/plate.
The parents paid for everything so it never came out of their pockets and all the money that they made, they got to keep for down payments for their homes.
I'm sure that you'll make your money back and have some to spend. Every wedding I've been too is a cash wedding and min is about $100/person. Enough to cover the plate and give the couple some money to spend.
Good Luck<IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">

[horsemad!]

I believe the word you’re looking for is “whittling”, Taco! teehee <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /> <br />A BBQ sounds like a great idea! Maybe make it super casual and do the BBQ thing at home. I know there are companies who will come in and do a huge BBQ. <br />

[Wildie]

We made all our decorations, (but I'm pretty good with crafts) didn't go overboard, borrowed what we could from other people, and for the reception we had a potluck with paper plates, and plastic cutlery. It was so much fun, and didn't cost much at all!!!
a couple guest list tips, that we used. only invite the people that really truly mean something to you and your soon-to-be-hubby. Who cares about aunts and uncles and cousins you see maybe once a year or less.&nbsp;We also considered a private exchange of vows with parents and best-friends as witnesses and then doing an open house after we got home from our honeymoon. But my mom talked us out of that b/c she wanted to see me in a beautiful wedding dress.

[Xenasaur]

hmm...
If you have a tight budget and cant spend that much, perhaps you could rent a hall and have a few very nice family members put on the dinner and have like a buffet type thing? It is alot of work preparing all the food though so so you would have to find someone very commited.
And honestly... big reception weddings are usually picked up by the parents... Any that I have been to or heard of. Weddings are really really expensive, one that I went to was at a hall, the father had gotten a deal because he is in the milatary, and with the rental and food and DJ the whole thing was over 5000.
I know I hae been to a few "backyard" weddings which were very nice. They had those tent things and a caterer so it was still cool... your making bets with mother nature on that one though haha.

[Lix]

Yeah Xena, that's what I'm afraid with the tent thing. Our property is bush and now I'm dreading mosquitos ruinning the whole thing. <br /> <br />I know!! I WANT a SMALL wedding. We have 26 Uncles and Aunts combined though and alot of cousins. I don't talk to them all regularly but coming from a French family, they would be more than insulted if I didn't at least invite them to the reception. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"> Maybe what I'll do is cut down on cousins and invite only those that I have a history with or that I still talk to. <br /> <br />For sure, the ceremony will only be about 50 people and I'm happy with that. <br /> <br />I like the idea of something casual but think the stress of having it on site at my house would be too much. So many people in/out of your house, hmmm... <br /> <br />Foxie, you think 39$ is cheap! LOL I was surprised how much it was. It acutally comes to 50$ per person. But I know what you mean, some of them can be SO expensive. <br /> <br />Horsemad, Taco and Wildie, I like the sounds of your wedding day! That would be ideal! And good idea for the BBQ before Taco! <br /> <br />The more I think of it, the more I think maybe I should cut down on some of those 26 Aunts and Uncles. My circle of close people is very small. I'll just have to deal with them being completely upset and not talk to me for the next 10 years but if they are like that, then they shouldn't be at my wedding anyway. <br /> <br />Xena, good point, huge weddings are usually paid for by the parents. But our respective parents are not loaded and hey, that just won't be happening so that's reason enough to justify a smaller wedding right? <br /> <br />Anything you guys would have done different if you could go back in time? (I need all the help I can get) <br /> <br />And thanks so much for helping. You guys really rock. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley31.gif" border="0">

[horsemad!]

Worried about people going in and out of the house? No problem. You can rent port-a-potties so there’s no reason for people to traipse in and out of the house! They even have special ones for weddings… all white and fancy… I know this because we were going to get them for my wedding as Dad was worried about the extra load on his septic system. <br /> <br />As for paper plates and stuff... you can actually rent dishes/glasses/cutlery from a party rental place for very little money - less, probably even than buying nice paper and plastic. I think it's classier and it's definitely more environmentally friendly than using disposable. You don't have to wash 'em or anything when you're done with the rentals... just put 'em back in the crates they came in and the rental company takes care of it from there. <br /> <br />I’m all for cutting people off the list that you aren’t very close with. Jeeze, my sister had a bigger wedding with all the family and stuff, and an uncle did the blessing. He didn’t even know and couldn’t remember her now husband’s name… the whole wedding party stage whispered “Herb!” as he hemmed and hawed as to what to call the groom. <br />

[chenders01]

Well, I don't know how helpful I can be since I got married almost 17 years ago...and a LOT has changed since then <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">&nbsp;
I believe we had about 120 at our reception.&nbsp; We wanted less than&nbsp;that, but you know how that goes...my parents paid for the meal, so they had a say in who was invited <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">&nbsp;
I think our dinners were around $25/plate and that was for what was called (back then)&nbsp;a "homestyle" dinner, which basically consisted of bowls and platters of food being put on the tables and people helping themselves.&nbsp; Our reception was at a country inn...pretty casual and relaxing.
For you Lix, I would suggest, since you're short on money, forgoing the formal dinner.&nbsp; Have you thought about a late afternoon or early evening wedding?&nbsp; Then, instead of a dinner, you can have a "finger foods" type of buffet afterwards.
Or, what other people have done, is to have a dinner with just immediate family members and then a dance later on, where everyone is invited.&nbsp; Make it a cash bar.&nbsp;
There are LOTS of ways to keep your costs down.&nbsp; Our wedding didn't cost much at all.&nbsp; I wore my mother's dress (BIG savings there).&nbsp; We had a friend do all the flowers, and a private photographer did the pics for a reasonable price.&nbsp;
It's really just one day.&nbsp; I can't see spending thousands and thousands of dollars on ONE day, when you've got the whole rest of your lives together.&nbsp; You can make your wedding day simple yet elegant without having to go into debt to pay for it!&nbsp; And don't be pressured into doing what other people want to do...it's YOUR day so you should do it exactly the way YOU want it.&nbsp; I wish I had been more firm with my mother, who tried to control the whole thing.&nbsp; What my hubby and I originally envisioned for our wedding, really didn't end up happening because "family" got in the way.&nbsp; I sort of regret that.
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[Sodapoppers]

hey lix if we all bring food are you going to invite EC to your wedding?? lol

[Arcadia]

I got married in '92 and it was $70 per person (incl. booze)and we had around 120 people? <br />My friend got married at the barn and we had the place looking fabulous.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Made it a black and white theme, rented the tables/chairs/linens/cutlery/plates from Mclean Rental. People looking at the pictures can't believe it's the upstairs of a barn. <br />

[jax]

You can do what my sister did - ELOPE!!&nbsp; Go off, get married, then come back and have a party/dance to celebrate with your family and friends.&nbsp; Roll out a snack buffet and Bob's your uncle.
As far as a Marquis tent at your house, you can get those Mosquito vacuums - they actually really work.&nbsp; If you let people know that it is a "casual" reception, they won't have to wear their best clothes, and using a port-o-potty won't be as big an issue.
However, having a tent makes you stress too much about the weather.&nbsp; Oh Lord, what if it rains??&nbsp; And there's Lix, glued to her TV for the whole week before her wedding, watching the Weather Network. <IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">
You mentioned a barn on your property before - is there a way to make that all "pretty"&nbsp;- mini-lights, straw bales, wagon wheels, lattice, etc., and have the ceremony AND dinner in there?&nbsp; Phone a caterer, or one of those guys with the big BBQ that can do pigs or beef or whatever, and see how much they charge.&nbsp; Then after dinner you can go to a hall for the reception.&nbsp; Or dance in the barn - my friends held their reception in an old barn, and it was the best wedding I've ever been to.
I don't know, just throwing out ideas.

[Lix]

Ooooh such great ideas guys. Never really thought of an evening wedding before! Good thinking chenders. <br /> <br />Really like hearing your input chenders. That's exactly what I want to avoid, regretting invinting and spending too much afterwards for people that don't necessarily need to be there. This is afterall, OUR day and that should remain the main focus. I think exactly like you all you guys in terms of keeping it simple and personal! <br /> <br />SP - Hehe, if you guys bring your food, you are more than welcome. LOL ! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />Hehe, jax, "elope"! LOL But how will anyone see me in my pretty wedding dress? I bet most people are dying to see me out of my jeans and baseball cap. LOL <br />Mosquito vaccuum! Hehe, never heard of that one. <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0"><img border="0" src="smileys/smiley1.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />The barn would be a good idea but it's a pretty small barn and it's just on soil. It will work for the ceremony but it's the type of barn the wind goes through, ya know what I mean? <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0"> <br /> <br />OK, GOOD NEWS! Just got an e-mail as I was typing this. A local golf course (which I was not contacting by fear of pricey-ness) has an incredible menu! There is so much on it!!! And the most expensive option is 22$!!! They have nice regular plates or a nice buffet for cheaper than that! WOW! <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley10.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley17.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley3.gif" border="0"> <img border="0" src="smileys/smiley10.gif" border="0"> I just did the calculations and it would be *gasp* more than 1/2 of the other place! And closer to my house too! <br /> <br />I must go visit! <br /> <br />Ok, even if this works out, I still want your advice on what to do and not to do in general when it comes to weddings. <br />Anything you have ever witnessed at someone else's wedding that you really didn't like? <br />

[Dee22]

I am also one that seems to think that $39 per plate seems to be cheap <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">&nbsp;If the food is good think about how much you pay to go to a nice restuarant and eat, for a good meal at a good restaurant your going to pay at least that no?

Anyrate... I also like Jax's idea, why not have the whole thing done in your barn? Make the centre peices and decorations&nbsp;yourself (ask some girlfriends to help, have a girls night at your house with wine and munchies and sit around and make your centre peices). Decorate the barn and have it catered!&nbsp;Having a Buffet style dinner might be a lot cheaper than paying by the plate.
A family friend had his wedding in his backyard and the meal and reception at a nearby restaurant that had a whole floor you could rent out. He had a buffet dinner and it was great! People could eat what they wanted and it&nbsp;was nice and casual, not too stuffy... people were up in line, chatting with eachother and having a good time.

My sister is just getting married at City Hall with immediate family and than having a small barbeque at our house... they had a problem with her hubby's side of the family, TONS of aunts and uncles and if you invite one you have to invite them all.... so they opted for not inviting any of them LOL... but they just wanted something that wasn't a big deal... if I can think of anything else I'll let you know... but I haven't been to very many weddings<IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">&nbsp;

[12th of Never]

K here are some ideas:
at a wedding a friend was at on the weekend the bride came out with no bouquet, as she walked down the aisle she was handed a red rose from the people seated on the edge of the aisles, at the end her groom gave her a white rose and then her mom stood up to tie a ribbon around the bouquet. Another idea, for a centre piece at my mom's friends wedding she bought small pretty round vases and put those marble like stones in the bottom and had a goldfish in each one, then she put a floating candle on the top, after dinner (the wedding was at her house) the guests put their fish into the goldfish pond they had recently installed. It was really neat!

[jax]

Oh hey, that golf course sounds great!&nbsp; I'm with you - I don't even pay $39 for a meal at a restaurant, thank you very much <IMG src="smileys/smiley5.gif" border="0">, but $22 would be great.
Some of the worst weddings that I've been to is where they just go completely overboard, basically concentrating too much on that one&nbsp;day, and seeming to forget that it is a celebration of the rest of your life.&nbsp; I was at one (actually, I was maid of honour) where there were over 300 guests showing up to witness bridezilla marrying this poor shmuck...she didn't even let him have his own family in his wedding party - it had to be HER relatives, two that he had never met before.&nbsp; Anyway, I digress.&nbsp; The dress was huge, the cake was humungous (one of those ones with lights and fountains and a little miniature wedding party on bridges), the ceremony went on for an hour, the mother's speech went on (we timed it) for 47 minutes...everyone was just thinking OH MY GOD, ENOUGH!!! <IMG src="smileys/smiley11.gif" border="0">
Just do what you want to do - you seem like a simple person (and I don't mean that in a bad way <IMG src="smileys/smiley2.gif" border="0">), so keep it simple and the way you want it.&nbsp; If you're not an ostentatious person, don't let anyone talk you into having an ostentatious wedding, just because "this is what you're supposed to do".&nbsp; Just keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun, a celebration, not a huge stress-making project.
And don't forget bowties for the dogs <IMG src="smileys/smiley4.gif" border="0">