My mother and the phone! Just need to vent a little.

[Chisholm]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Well I live with my mother who will soon be 80 years old.  It has really worked out well since I am single that we rent a house together.   #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#But we are having one small problem.  It's not really that big a thing but I just need to vent a little.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#My mother has chosen to just to stay home and go out just once or twice a week to go shopping.  And she seems very happy this way.  But she does get bored at times.   So the phone is one of her forms of entertainment.  Now she is still working mind wise with a full deck, but gets a little forgetful.  One of the things that was happening was she would take a message and relay it to me wrong.  So I thought I solved this problem, we got Indent a call put on our phone line.  At first it worked great.  But now she has started answering calls if they call more than once after leaving a message.  I even have my own voice mail box.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#So today a potential client called and left a message but then called again because she wanted to listen to my message again because she wanted to get my cell phone #.  But my dear mother saw the number displayed and answered my phone.  She knows it's for me by it's special ring and all.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#So it get's somewhat embrassing when a potential new client ends up talking to my mother.  Who of course up till a few years ago was also in horses.  Well she gets chatting to them way to much.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# I spoke to her about this tonight.  She says she is fine about not answering the my ring.  But I know it will happen again.  And of course she had to get all defensive about it.  Saying she thought it was my friend trying to get a hold of me or such.  If anyone wants to get a hold of me on my message I have my cell phone number  there.   #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Now there was one case where I was very grateful she did answer.  A long distance number kept callling and never left a message.  And it turned out to be someone who was in town who I needed to meet that day.  She even gave him directions to where we needed to meet and all.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#It just gets so fustrating sometimes try to run a business and having my mother getting involved. And I just feel like I sometimes don't have my own life.  That my mother has to be involved all the time.   Thanks for listening.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[EatMyDust]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#ahh...the lovely subject of ppl anwsering the phone and talking/listening when its not for them...#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#my brother used to listen in to convo. with me and my now ex bf. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#i dont really know what to tell you? is it possible for you to get your own phone line and keep that phone in your room or something?#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[zooka]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#yeah Chis that happens with me somewhat as well.  I am still at home until I am done college this year.  My mom likes to get my calls and have longer conversations with the people then I do....  I've given up though because she loves talking to people!#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[chenders01]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Well, I think that you're doing a noble thing by living with your mother in her old age.  I'm sure that if she didn't have you, she'd be in a home...which wouldn't necessarily be a BAD thing, but most old people want to stay in their own homes for as long as they can, versus living in old age homes.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#The unfortunate part about living with our parents when we are adults, is that they never really see us as adults...they still think we are their child.  I'm 40 and my mom still treats me as though I'm 10.  I could NEVER live with her again!  I mean, I would never see her with no place to go, and I'd take her in if I had to, but it would not be easy or fun LOL!!  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Would it be possible for you to have all your business calls come through on your cell phone ONLY and lose the home line?  That way, your mom wouldn't have access to your business calls at all.  But you'd have to leave your cell phone on ALL the time.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Not really sure what else to suggest.  You've already talked to your mom about the issue so it's up to her now.  I can see where your concern comes from though.  You don't want your mom keeping a potential client on the phone for 1/2 an hour, talking about the wart on her big toe #ed_op#IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/richedit/smileys//grin.gif"#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#   #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Trufflemaker]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I have kids who always answer the phone, and many times I don't get the message that's left. I'm not running a business though, so it's like that affects my income, it's just annoying. Now I always check the calling line ID when I get home. My hubby works from home and has a separate line. At first it was hard not to answer it, but now we don't even hear it, because we know that only he answers that phone. Maybe your mom just needs more time to get used to the "party line" idea, and to leave your calls be. If that doesn't work, then I agree with Chenders, that using just your cell phone for business calls might be the best answer. Another solution might be to have a second line installed, and turn the ringer off when you go out, so she doesn't even know it's ringing. That's probably more pricey than using the cell phone though. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Chisholm]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Cell phone is out the question, I have Pay& Talk.  That would get way to pricey.  I considered another line.  But I will see how the indent a call goes now that we have had a chat about it.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Also very good chance in the near future we will be switching over to Rogers Home Phone so then I may look into another line.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[*Giddy Up*]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#The idea about turning off the ringer when you're not home is a good idea- with a second line of course. Then leave that phone in your bedroom so she is unable to see it as well (if it lights up or something when it rings like some do). #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[xena_n_joss]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#That sucks alot Chis.. .I know what you feel though, right now I live with my mom AND grandma lol. So I get a double whammy, at least my mom is not getting senile yet though. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[graciespook]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I know horse people who only connect via email. It saves on phone calls all the time, and you give your number out to clients that are close to you only, who understand your situation. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Elizabeth]

There is a way of changing the number of rings before the answering service picks up, at least, if you are using Bell's Call Answer. I know it is a pain but before you go out you could set it to only ring once before it goes to Call Answer. It would mean setting it back when you got home again.

I have asked my 24 year old son to stop answering the phone if he is home because people will call and he will completely forget what it was they were calling about, who for and will also just assume that the number is on Call Display for me to call back. Once in a while if I am expecting an important call I will tell him to answer and pass the message for them to call my cell.

[babytigger]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#my little brother was terrible at passing along messages........thansk goodness i don't live with him, as i hear he's just as bad at it now!!#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#i would try a second phone line....or switch your calls to go to the machine after 1 ring.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[draftdriver]

I'm in agreement with the second phone line, with the ringer off when you're not at home.

I remember your mother as a very chatty, social person. Can you get her involved in other things outside the house? A craft group, bingo, a seniors' centre (not an old age home, but rather a place where seniors gather for lunch a certain day of the week, or to play euchre etc.)?