Family Stress

[Chisholm]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I love Christmas.  But my family is small so usually it was only the 3 of us.  But now with my Dad gone and my mother isn't really into DOING Christmas anymore. I am lost.  So I can't believe families who can be together would let trival things get in the way of that.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Piaffing]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I agree with Chenders. Have a party at your place and invite everyone. Tell them that this arguement is between the two of them and not you. I would then ask them why they don't want this girl to play. And then ask them how they would feel if it was them not being wanted to ply and how they would feel about it. Me, I would feel very hurt and very unhappy. The game is only for fun, it's not like the are trying out for the Olympic team. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#If it was me I would tell them both to act their age not their shoe size.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Patricia]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Aren't families fun?!  Ours is a bit dysfunctional and lack skills in communication.  My mother is very ill now and the stress it is putting on the family is unbearable for me.  I am not included in the decisions or the care.  My mother only felt comfortable with my sister.  I get notified by e-mail when she is admitted to hospital.  Geesh, you would think something like that deserves a personal phone call.  Now within one day is in a retirement home.  I make a visit and am sent packing...She was upset and she isn't coping very well with her condition but come on...I had to say...'you know you have 2 daughters'.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I used to love Christmas when our kids were small.  Now it is a huge fisaco.  I would just like to stay home....Although, they would probably never speak to me again and I just have my mother and sister but sometimes they don't even seem like family.  I think the trick is for ME to have Christmas and no one will show up and then I will be off the hook.  It is kind of funny they use the excused of rurals roads, bad weather....but heck I seem to have no trouble finding my way to their house.......I'm with Chenders....I am a real scrooge this time of year......#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[lola s]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#0000ff#ed_cl#Glad to see I am not alone in my black depression over the holidays.  I guess, for me, its just that I seem to miss the people and animals that have passed away more at that time of year.  The empty space just seems that much bigger over the holidays.  I used to skip the family thing and spend it back in Calgary with my friends, but then that added guilt to my black mood.  Now, I just try and have a few drinks and paste a smile on my face.  I always feel so much better about January 2nd. #ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#0000ff#ed_cl##ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#0000ff#ed_cl#SP, book a vacay with your b/f and forget about them if they're going to carry on that way.  Where is your sister in all this?#ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Eileen]

#ed_op#TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"#ed_cl##ed_op#TBODY#ed_cl##ed_op#TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"#ed_cl##ed_op#TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off"#ed_cl#Gee, after reading some of these posts, my family does not seem that bad after all....lol...really we are a close knit family...and geographically close so it all helps, #ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/TD#ed_cl##ed_op#/TR#ed_cl##ed_op#TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"#ed_cl##ed_op#TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV id=hotbar_promo#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/TD#ed_cl##ed_op#/TR#ed_cl##ed_op#/TBODY#ed_cl##ed_op#/TABLE#ed_cl#

[pmc]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Yup, Christmas is a blast-and-a-half at our house, too. #ed_op#IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/richedit/smileys//smiley2.gif"#ed_cl#  Any long-term members of this board will probably remember the thread where I delved into the intricacies of having 10 people under my roof for several (too many) days at this festive time of year.  The cast of characters is very definitely soap opera material.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#And nothing has changed...#ed_op#IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/richedit/smileys/Happy/4.gif"#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Eileen]

#ed_op#TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"#ed_cl##ed_op#TBODY#ed_cl##ed_op#TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"#ed_cl##ed_op#TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off"#ed_cl#Yes but Pmc....it is all in the attitude Dude....lol...you go with the flow, and know that it is going to be "sardine" time for 10 days and it only happens once a year when it happens....and you have fun with it...that is the only way to do it, and I am sure that you have fun talking and rehashing some of the "packed house" stories when the gang gets together agail...way to go girl...you rock and your daughter will look back on these times as some of the best times in her young years...lol #ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/TD#ed_cl##ed_op#/TR#ed_cl##ed_op#TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"#ed_cl##ed_op#TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on"#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV id=hotbar_promo#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/TD#ed_cl##ed_op#/TR#ed_cl##ed_op#/TBODY#ed_cl##ed_op#/TABLE#ed_cl#

[chenders01]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I'm actually quite fortunate.  My family is small...just my mom, dad, grandmother, sister, her hubby and two small kids...and we all live in town, so travelling for Christmas is not an issue.  I just hate the whole "you MUST buy presents to show your luuuuuv" thing that my family is so fond of.  This year, finally, we got my mom (who is the Force behind the gift-giving thing) to agree to JUST stocking stuffers for the adults.  That'll make things a little easier for us, financially.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Normally, Christmas with my family consists of us all converging at my sister's house and watching the kids play all day.  Now, I have nothing against my niece and nephew, but you can't have ANY kind of adult conversation when they are around, as they completely dominate everything.  And they're too young to just send away to play in another room.  I guess if WE had kids, the cousins would play...#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Christmas with my hubby's family DOES consist of travelling, as they all live in different cities/towns.  Usually we all converge at my in-laws' house.  There are often 13 or 14 people crammed into their small house...and we HAVE to stay overnight, at least one night, or it doesn't qualify as a REAL visit.  And, most of my husband's family are weird so I usually can't wait to get home, once I get up there.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Anyway, I shouldn't complain as Christmas is not *that* bad for me.  I just hate the idea of forced buying that is inflicted on us by the media and society.  My husband's family doesn't exchange gifts and it's actually really nice to not have that pressure to buy the "perfect gift" for each person.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#The bonus for me is that my workplace is always closed in between Christmas and New Years, so I get a nice break from work, to go and spend time riding my horse #ed_op#IMG src="http://forums.equestrianconnection.com/richedit/smileys//grin.gif"#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Soda, I totally think that you and your SO should make other plans for Christmas.  I would LOVE to go to a northern retreat for Christmas one year.  I think that would be soooo romantic, and a real change from the usual.  #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Anyway, I hope that you get it sorted out.  And I agree, where is your sister in all of this??#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#    #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Kobau]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#hmmm makes my family look awesome. usually since we moved out here to MB it is just mom and dad and i for xmas. One sis in in MB now with her family, so they will come spend xmas eve with us, but want to have first xmas in MB in their own home.. we have fun , stretch present opening out well into the day... and have waffles with peaches and whipped cream for breakfast. then we all go and check on the animals, give em some extra feed, snuggle up to em.. and if the weather is good i go for a ride... and if mom wants to shock me she comes with;-) or dad does, which is equally shocking!#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#We only really buy for the kids, with lil stocking stuffer type things for adults...#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Ruth]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Well, Chenders, I'm not doing any present-buying this year myself. I just opened my latest vet bill and it was $1300, also my optician's licence is due Dec. 31 and that is almost $750. So I have made the decision that I cannot buy presents, I will have to do the $2 scratch ticket in a card thing for everyone. My mom I already split on buying her a Bon Jovi  ticket with my sister so she is the only exception. Luckily for me this is an accepted practice in my family, that if you really and truly cannot afford presents, scratch tickets or home-made gifts will suffice. My SO said he'd help out with gift-buying this year, but it is beyond that. He either has to pay for everything or it'll be scratch tickets for all.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[Ruth]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Well, Chenders, I'm not doing any present-buying this year myself. I just opened my latest vet bill and it was $1300, also my optician's licence is due Dec. 31 and that is almost $750. So I have made the decision that I cannot buy presents, I will have to do the $2 scratch ticket in a card thing for everyone. My mom I already split on buying her a Bon Jovi  ticket with my sister so she is the only exception. Luckily for me this is an accepted practice in my family, that if you really and truly cannot afford presents, scratch tickets or home-made gifts will suffice. My SO said he'd help out with gift-buying this year, but it is beyond that. He either has to pay for everything or it'll be scratch tickets for all.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[graciespook]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Gotta love family....just keep saying 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family...' I'm going through the same thing right now #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#

[babytigger]

#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#geesh- and i thought my family was a bit nutty....#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#as there are 5 kids in my family (as in my brothers & sisters), plus both my parents....us kids decided to do a "name draw" each year to see who to buy for. as both my sister & i have kids, and as we're all old enough we decided Christmas was more for the "kids".....so i only have to buy for :mum, dad, one sibling, my daughters, my 3 nieces & 1 nephew, and hubbys mum. hubby & i don't "do" the present thing for each other, and not having to buy for 3 other siblings, make things a bit easier on the wallet.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#plus i started shopping earlier this year....i've got some presents for my girls, and my twin nieces taken care of...so that leave a few more presents for my kids, one sibling, one nephew, one niece, my parents & hubbys mum......a little easier on the wallet do spread out the shopping as well...........lol.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#we usually do our thing at our place, then we all converge on my mums to do more stuff there & either we all go to my aunts house for dinner, or they (aunt, uncle & 2 cousins) come to my mums for dinner....plus it's my cousins b-day on the 24th... so her b-day kinda gets mushed into the Christmas stuff.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#