by 2dapoint » Mon May 16, 2005 10:25 am
#ed_op#DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#SPAN class=postbody#ed_cl##ed_op#FONT size=2#ed_cl# #ed_op#/FONT#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Alright, you're worried. He's scared. So, parrotting what others have said - why are you waiting?#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#WHY do you/he not get help WHEN ITS HAPPENING? It's a little tough to diagnose anything when that "thing" has settled down and is not doing much that is abnormal.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Ask yourself this: if he was having a heart attack and told you not to call an ambulance (guys can be so dumb), would you listen? Is his good opinion of you more important than his life?#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#AND ... how would you know if it's important or not? I just can't understand. I really can't. If you can help me to, I'd love to - if for no other reason than it furthers my own education of the human race.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Tell ya something else - IF it was one of the conditions you've listed above, time isn't helping either.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#let's say it was something you haven't listed... like intermittent appendicitis (yes, there is such a thing). So, because it's gone away once, it's okay to wait? right. Until the ONE time that it decides to really get nasty and explodes on him. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#Not trying to scare you, but a dose of reality here - who's going to be looking in the mirror mumbling "if only" for a very long time?#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#If you're really that worried (and I'm sure you are, just not self confident enough to go against the flow and do the tough thing), call an ambulance anyways. What's he going to do? Stop speaking to you?, get off the couch/toilet/whatever and hang the phone up on you? Send the ambulance away once they get there? (do you think that after getting a look at him, they'd listen?)#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I know you care deeply about him, part of that includes doing what is needed even when under pressure not to. Men are just big boys. They don't like anyone to see them as unable to take care of themselves - not you (he's still making the decisions right?), not the docs/ambulance guys.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I just don't get it.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#but then, I've seen people have heart attacks and tell their 'other' not to call an ambulance. I've seen the 'other' waste time trying to convince them, then clean them up before the ambulance people got there - and regret it when minutes/seconds counted.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#I've seen people who just "knew" that the time for listening to the loved one was not "now" and would rather apologize to a live person in the hospital for the whole situation than chance never being able to right a wrong decision.#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#What immediately came to mind for me, not being a doctor of course(but having had relatives who've had it), was gall bladder. After he ate... (what did he have to eat btw on those occassions?), severe pain, rolling around with cold sweats etc. etc. but. I am not a doctor. Nor do I have access to *diagnostic equipment in the throes of an attack*! Part of loving is doing the tough stuff - whether we like it or not. He was begging you to do something? Pick up the phone. You don't have the education or experience to know if you're creating a problem - so pass it off to someone who does!#ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl#JMHO. Sorry for being so harsh. But the results (one of these times) could be a lot more harsh! Yes, this is coming from someone who spent a very long period of time denying the harshest of reality - believing that I could manage/overcome what I didn't want to believe. Sometimes, being tough requires accepting help. Don't let him wait until that help can't. #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#DIV#ed_cl# #ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl##ed_op#/SPAN#ed_cl##ed_op#/DIV#ed_cl#
Due to interpretational difficulties inherent in written communications, I respectfully suggest you refer to your coach for the answer; Imitation is still the sincerest form of flattery. Thank you, it's quite a lovely feeling to be so appreciated.